The lessons of family

They came as and when they pleased and he couldn’t do anything to stop them. He had hid them from his parents and hid behind a perfectly mastered smile that was his facade. To everyone in his life he was a bubbly and jovial person who was always filled with positivity and always willing to lend a helping hand. Some might say he was being selfish by not letting anyone in on his pain and his problems and stop the burden with all that darkness and pain. He never wanted to admit it but all that pain was what kept him going. It made him know he could still feel. But he wasn’t always like this. Turn the time back to when his grandfather was still alive. Back when his smile was a true genuine one. It was the first time he ever lost someone in his life.

Another day of visiting his grandfather at the hospital but today was different. Today, he was with his cousins who decided to go to the bakery at the hospital to get a bite to eat before going to see their grandfather. After eating they took the lift up to the wards and as they got off the lift, to him there was a sudden wave of sadness that hit him and it was confusing because he never felt this way before when he came to visit his grandfather. He then sees his father in the distance coming out of the wards entrance and the face on him shows an immense sadness yet he hides it so well because he knows as a father he has to have a strong front for his son. Looking back at that exact moment he knows now he learnt the first reason to put up a facade in life. To show others that we’re okay and it has little or no effect on them. His father hugs him and tells him not to go in and see his grandfather, but he does so anyway and that is when he learns another lesson about who he is as a person. He is the one that needs closure. He sees his cousin standing next to the ward crying her eyes out and this hits him because he has never seen her cry in his life and the reality sinks in. This is what death does to us all. It breaks even the best of us. All this on his mind as he takes a few steps into the ward. The moment he enters ,he sees his grandfather lying motionless and till today what happened next will always remain a mystery as he has no recollection of it. The next few days that followed were of the family spending time at an uncle’s place till the day of cremation. To him it was an experience he would never forget. The passing of his grandfather just made him realise how big his family was and how important having family in his life was important as he knew how it was for his grandfather.

When the day came for his grandfather to be cremated he just couldn’t stop crying. He cried when it was his turn to put flowers on his grandfather’s body and when they started praying for him. The one moment that will forever be etched in his life is seeing his grandfather’s coffin being moved into the cremation chamber. The moment those two huge steel doors opened he knew that was it, he had lost a huge part of himself at that young age. He stood at the gallery crying his eyes out even after the doors closed. His aunt comes up to him with tears in her eyes and looked at him and told him it was time to go, just like it was his grandfather’s time to leave us. What happened the rest of the day will remain another mystery as he had no recollection of what happened after he left that gallery. He did return to that gallery again when he was a man but the pain and the memory felt like it was only yesterday. Till today he remembers that day and whenever he’s feeling down he still remembers his grandfather when he was alive and tears roll down to his cheek and once again he breaks apart and allows the voices inside his head to fill it with negativity and sadness .The Pain of losing someone that precious and important to him will haunt him forever as is such the role of death. But that was also the start of him being close with his cousins. The death of his grandfather made him realise that family should and must always be the pillar of who he is as a person. It was a lesson that would serve him well in time to come. Life is a sweet concept but death is a bitter truth we all never want to embrace.